Friends are very important. Friends are often the most important lifeline available to someone caught in a bad dating relationship. If you're worried about a friend that you think might be in a bad situation, here are some ways to help.

Hotlines are not just for victims. Calling a crisis hotline can help, even if you're not the victim. The hotline advocate can help you identify abuse, plan for a friend's safety, and work with you on a personalized plan to help your friend.

Stay in touch. Abusers use anger and jealousy to keep their victims away from friends and family. If you think your friend is in an abusive relationship, do what you can to maintain ties with her and stay in contact.

Talk to your friend. Make time to talk to your friend about what's going on. Your friend may be reluctant to talk about what's happening, but it helps to find a private place to talk and make sure she knows she can trust you. If she's reluctant, tell her about your concerns and let her know that she can talk to you when she's ready. Other tips:

• Let her talk at her own pace. Do not push her to talk about things she doesn't want to share.
• Remind your friend that the abuse is not her fault and that she deserves to be treated with respect.
• Remind her that abuse is not normal. Relationships should be fun and healthy.
• Find someplace private to talk.
• Make sure your friend knows that you will keep everything confidential. If her abuser finds out that she's talking to others, it can put her in danger.
• Offer to help her by being part of her safety plan or getting more information for her.
• Do not be judgmental. Abuse is about control; if the abuse has reached the point where others are noticing it, the victim is already being controlled. Leaving an abusive relationship is hard, and it usually takes more than one try.
• Let your friend know that you will be there for her.

The Love is Respect web site has a really good section on helping a friend: Support for a Friend